Befriend a fear to disrupt its power.

In the mood to overcome a fear today? OK, so let’s say that fearful voice in your head is for you in a way. Just an intriguing idea for the moment, not some big truth for you to necessarily get behind. Consider it potentially useful, and try it.

After all, we each have our version of Aunt-Agnes-who-made-us-nervous, Professor What’s His Name Who Would Have Perfection from freshman year, or a jacked up middle school baseball coach who embodies the voice in our head that, let’s face it, is just a hyper-vigilant part of us these days. So let’s get strategic with it.

Befriend it. How often? Well, actually, again and again.

Try stating the fear you want to overcome in a specific voice with which you know you can lovingly hold your own. Have fun imagining the conversation. Give your fear an image, a name, a long green nose, its own favorite song! Let the conversation play out to a dreaded Worst Case Scenario or two. And if you haven’t held your own in the past, that’s the opportunity this time. After all, it isn’t live TV. Keep working it like Groundhog Day until you come out on top.

No need for news conferences. Do your quiet best.

As a bonus, make sure this encounter takes place in the privacy of your own heart and mind. No need to share it. Part of disrupting a fear’s power is learning through doing that when you counter it with thoughts, feelings, intentions and drives beyond its grip, it backs down. Maybe only for a bit at first, but that’s a game-changer.

And again, no need to broadcast it, which can help to grow it, like letting a genie of dark thoughts out of his lamp to blanket the neighborhood in black clouds. To overcome a fear, flex and feel those new muscles in your own quiet way, exercise them regularly, and watch, listen, and quietly celebrate as they grow fast.

Be kind and FIRM. Time for a little tough self-love!

You can take it. :) The bottom line is, consider that fearful voice a loving, even protective one, speak to it kindly but firmly (“thanks so much for caring and sharing”), and forge ahead. Practice. Practice. Practice that.

Before long you’ll find yourself smiling mid-stride while reminiscing about close encounters that are over now.

Overcome a fear today, overcome a fear tomorrow…

Yep, because new fears do and will crop up like weeds in a healthy garden, and that’s human, and just fine. Because part of the beauty of being human is that, with more and more practice, we know better and better, with less and less drama and expense of vital life force, what to do.

Just proceed, my dears, in loving, committed conversation. Proceed!


Teresa Young coaches savvy folks ready to accomplish what they want most in healthy new ways. Clients include Boomers seeking fulfillment in the second half of life and GenXers and Millennials looking for meaning from the start. Teresa coaches by phone, in person, and via Skype outside the U.S.