Left Coast Coach Teresa Young

Live your dream. Wherever you are.

Page 2 of 7

On non-judgment during trying times

These are challenging times for all of us who are braving the constant onslaught of current events.

I have a dear friend, an amazing attorney and child advocate, who just doesn’t “do the news.” It allows her to have some necessary control over her psychic life to keep herself healthy for her own intense work in the world.

But that won’t work for all of us. We each have to find our own way of dealing with everything that’s happening in our cities, in our countries, in our world during these wired times in which we easily get word of it, whatever it is, immediately.

And currently it’s a lot.

Yes. Once again with feeling: we’re all going through a lot just being emotionally present to so much that’s so big and so painful and is happening so fast and unrelentingly.

Yesterday I saw my neighborhood grocery store check-out helper, a dignified African-American man about my age who hails from Brooklyn but lives here in L.A. these days. It was just after the shootings in Dallas, and clearly we were both feeling low. We didn’t even try to make small talk. Today I saw him again, and we each understood wordlessly, while double-teaming the store code for Persian cuces, that the other was doing better. It’s a process.

And I’ve been reflecting on non-judgment. It’s an essential part of coaching others, with the goal of avoiding laying our interpretations of motivation and meaning on them. It’s about creating space for others to truly “show up”, free of our type-casting or expectations, and tell and show us who they really are.

My current personal mental health discipline is to remember that it’s important outside the coaching relationship, too.

And yes, there are those who in certain matters really do feel like strangers to us, whether in our lives or beaming through our devices. (Think extended family + politics.) We truly may not be able to relate to where another seems to be coming from. And then of course the truth is that we don’t really know. It would take real time, patience, and work to know, if given the opportunity, and armed with the capability.

So in whatever types of relationships we’re in, and especially as observers of current events, how can we hold empty space—rather than filling it with our assumptions or our fears—in which our fellow humans are the complex, multi-dimensional central characters in their own poignant, perhaps even tragic life stories? How can we avoid making snap judgments that in effect mean we’re writing their stories ourselves through the point of view of our own filters, beliefs, interests, and issues?

I’ll make a case for not assuming we know the motivations or mindset of others. For instead compassionately witnessing this troubling season with as much heart and soul as we can muster. I’ll make a case for each of us being our own personal best in it, however quietly, while benefiting from some intrinsic meaning through that commitment. Through that discipline.

________________

Coach Teresa Young works with clients to accomplish their passion-based goals in healthy, soulful new ways. She coaches by phone, in person, and via Skype outside the U.S.

 

Keep growing, interesting ones

Are you familiar with this bit of wisdom from Bob Dylan?

He [—or she—] who is not busy being born is busy dying.

We’re living in an amazing age, one in which another familiar phrase, “aging gracefully”, has more meaning than ever. The days are done when young people had all the fun. All the freedom. All the possibilities for multiple, age-neutral life phases.

It’s possible now for folks who are 50+, 60+, 70+, even 80+ to live dramatically different lives from one another. Some are acting out inherited beliefs in which it’s time now to be tired, to be unhealthy, to be in many ways done with exercise and self-care, with passionately held dreams, goals, and ambitions. Meanwhile, others are exercising longer, eating better, engaging in self-care like it really matters, and developing powerful skills like mindfulness and meditation that truly change the aging game.

An ever evolving, this-is-our-time approach allows the wisdom of our elder years increased space and time to develop. Then we can share that wisdom in relationship and in all kinds of satisfying creative contributions. We have our own difference to continue to make in the world, which traditional societies have always known, but modern culture forgot. These days we’re busy changing the game back again.

So I say this:

The early 21st century is a phenomenal time to be “maturing.”

Though of course the eternal fountain of youth remains undiscovered. No amount of self-care negates the reality of eventual aging, or the fact that bad things like disease or other misfortune can still happen to good people no matter how much yoga we do. We need ever greater inner fortitude as our birthdays accumulate.

In light of all that, bravo to all who continue to push with aplomb past all kinds of internal and external boundaries, intentionally living with the consciousness that we humans have never been exactly here before. No one has yet been 50+, 60+, 70+, or 80+ in the ways that are possible to and through us.

So go for it, my dears:

Grow on with your bad selves as, yes,
you keep getting more and more interesting.

In the process, on this wild, wonderful, 21st century journey, reach out for the expert holistic support that you need and deserve to keeeeep living fully.

____________________

Holistic Coach Teresa Young works with clients to accomplish their passion-based goals in healthy, soulful new ways. She coaches by phone, in person, and via Skype outside the U.S.

Rock 2016 with this sweet mantra!

On a quest to create my own beautiful year from the inside out, I’ve decided on the thought above as my mantra du jour.

How much gets instantly handled—and re-handled—when we focus on the fact that now is what we really have? The magnificent paradox therein is the freedom that this realization creates, freedom to pursue what matters most to us. Freedom to knock off re-hashing the past. To stop expending precious life force on anxieties about the unknowable future. To truly relish all the beauty, truth, and goodness right here in front of us.

Rock on in the now, dear ones, enjoyably, with the present mattering as much as future goals while you align your choices and actions with what you value and want most.

After all, truth be told, here we go now, daily, mindfully, for at least ten minutes, plus additional time whenever and wherever needed in the moment:

____________________

Certified Professional Mindset and Meaning Coach Teresa Young works with clients to accomplish their passion-based goals in healthy, soulful new ways. She coaches by phone, in person, and via Skype outside the U.S.

Befriend fear to disrupt its power

So let’s say that fearful voice in your head is for you in a way. Just an intriguing idea for the moment, not some big truth for you to necessarily agree with. Consider it potentially useful, and try it.

After all, don’t you have an Aunt Agnes from childhood, Professor What’s His Name from freshman year, or middle school baseball coach who embodies the voice in your head that, let’s face it, is just a hyper-vigilant part of you these days?

Try stating your fear in a specific voice with which you know you can lovingly hold your own. Let the conversation play out to the dreaded Worst Case Scenarios. And if you haven’t held your own in the past, that’s the opportunity this time. After all, it isn’t live TV. Keep working it like Groundhog Day until you come out on top.

As a bonus, make sure this encounter takes place in the privacy of your own heart and mind. No need to share it. Part of disrupting a fear’s power is learning through doing that when you counter it with thoughts, feelings, intentions and drives beyond its grip, it backs down. Maybe only for a bit at first, but that’s a game-changer.

And again, no need to broadcast it, which can help to grow it, like letting a genie of dark thoughts out of his lamp to blanket the neighborhood in black clouds. Flex those new muscles, exercise them regularly and quietly, and they’ll grow fast.

The bottom line is, consider that fearful voice a loving, even protective one, speak to it kindly but firmly (“thanks so much for caring and sharing”), and forge ahead. Practice. Practice. Practice that.

Before long you’ll find yourself smiling mid-stride while reminiscing about close encounters that are over now.

Until a new fear crops up, since that’s human, and that’s fine. Because part of the beauty of being human is that, with more and more practice, we know better and better, with less and less drama and expense of vital life force, what to do.

Just proceed, in loving, committed conversation. Proceed!

__________________

Left Coast Coach Teresa Young works with clients to accomplish their passion-based goals in healthy, soulful new ways. She coaches by phone, in person, and via Skype outside the U.S.

Dare to swap old beliefs for new possibilities

What do you believe, anyway? About life? About love? About work? About money?

Consciousness of our beliefs—of what drives us and stops us—is a courageous approach to modern life. We can examine our beliefs, reflect on them, and make choices that change our lives.

One central test of any belief is whether it’s fear-based or growth-oriented. Like believing that “love always fades to quiet boredom.” Maybe it’s been our experience so far, or we’ve seen it play out in the lives of others. It could be long-held family knitting-circle talk or good ol’ boy logic. But does it challenge us to keep risking for the delicious relationship we want? Or justify our own lack of heart due to fear of heartache?

And are we really free to choose? Consider that any reason why we aren’t is a belief, rather than some absolute truth. Consider that we live in an amazing era and ARE actually free to consciously choose our beliefs if we’re ready to do this important inner work. Consider that this work will move us forward in new ways. In ways that matter deeply to us.

Now go bravely cast off the hand-me-downs that don’t really suit you, and reach out for the support you need to do so!

_________________________

Certified Professional Mindset and Meaning Coach Teresa Young works with clients to accomplish their passion-based goals in healthy, soulful new ways. She coaches by phone, in person, and via Skype outside the U.S.

8 ways to help keep the peace at your holiday table

Whether you’re the host or a guest at an imminent holiday meal, a few simple guidelines can help you play your part in creating a peaceful experience:

  1. Keep things light, free of any grand expectations that will set you up for disappointment.
  2. Smile. Help out! Be your chill best.
  3. Be genuinely curious about the folks around you. Ask and answer questions in a fun way. BE the fun you’d love to have.
  4. Focus on the young ones in attendance. Really experience them. Make some memories with them.
  5. Be proactive in changing course to steer clear of potential trouble, whether topics, personalities, too much wine, etc.
  6. Be ready to respond to others with compassion. Be a compassionate witness to any messy moments. It’s all SO human.
  7. Refer to no. 1 as needed. :)
  8. Repeat for the duration, giving yourself plenty of imaginary pats on the back along the way for being your personal best.

Armed with these simple strategies, you’re ready, peace warrior. Happy holiday dining to you and yours!

___________________

Certified Professional Mindset and Meaning Coach Teresa Young works with clients to accomplish their passion-based goals in healthy, soulful new ways. She coaches by phone, in person, and via Skype outside the U.S.

« Older posts Newer posts »